When you're planning a marriage proposal, choosing what to wear might seem like a small detail. But it can make a difference to how comfortable you feel during the day and how your photographs turn out.
My usual advice is smart casual: something that looks put together but still feels like you. And if you're planning a surprise proposal, there's one extra challenge — how do you get your partner to dress up a little without making her suspicious?
After photographing more than 60 secret proposals, I've picked up a few useful tips. Here's what I'd recommend.
1. How to get your partner dressed up without giving it away
One of the easiest options is to book a nice restaurant for the evening, with a walk around Amsterdam beforehand. Most women will naturally put some thought into what they wear for a special dinner, so you don't need to mention photographs at all.
Suggest dressing up a little for dinner, then ask whether she'll be comfortable walking around in the outfit and shoes she's chosen. It's a small gesture, but it shows you're thinking about her comfort — and she'll appreciate that. It also helps avoid a situation where she's cold, her shoes hurt, or she's irritated because her clothes aren't practical.
Another option is to tell her you've found a beautiful spot in Amsterdam with an iconic view and fewer crowds, and suggest taking a couple of photos together for her Instagram. You can find ideas in my guide to the best places to propose in Amsterdam.
The same approach works for little details, too. If it's going to be windy and she has long hair, you can simply ask whether she'd be more comfortable with her hair tied up. It should feel like a normal bit of consideration, not a list of instructions for a photoshoot.
The key is to suggest things that make sense for your relationship. I've shared more ideas in my article about how to keep your proposal a secret.
2. What to wear: style, colours and fabrics
Smart casual is my go-to advice. A nice shirt, a simple dress, jeans with a well-chosen top — you don't need anything too formal. And if sporty clothes are genuinely her style, that's fine, too. I'd rather photograph someone who feels like herself than someone who feels awkward in an outfit she would never normally wear.
For colours, I usually recommend natural shades: brown, olive, beige, green and navy. Ideally, your outfits should share a colour story, with around three or four complementary tones between you. I'd avoid neon, electric blue and vivid fuchsia, which can dominate a photograph and sometimes cast an unflattering tint onto the skin.
The person proposing should choose an outfit that works with hers, rather than trying to match exactly. Natural fabrics such as cotton, linen and denim are good options because they look relaxed and work well for walking around the city.
And please, skip the big logos. We don't need to look like walking advertisements for the University of Michigan!
After you book, I send a short outfit guide with colour combinations and examples — so you don't need to figure it all out on your own.
3. Comfort first: shoes and trousers
Amsterdam is a walking city, so choose shoes you can comfortably walk and stand in. Heels are absolutely fine if she's used to wearing them. If she wears them once every six months for a special occasion, I'd suggest a lower pair. And if you're proposing, avoid shoes that might rub or pinch.
There's one more thing I always mention to the person proposing: your trousers. If you're planning to get down on one knee, make sure you can actually do it comfortably. A couple of times, I've seen grooms struggle to kneel because their trousers were too tight and had no stretch at all.
It's worth a quick test at home: kneel down once in the outfit you're planning to wear. Check that the trousers don't pull and that your shirt or jumper stays where it should when you lean forward. It takes ten seconds and saves you from an awkward moment on the day.
4. Small details: bags and nails
Bags and backpacks can be distracting in photographs, so we can put them aside or take them off afterwards. If you need a natural way to do this before the proposal, suggest taking a picture of her on your phone — she'll probably take the backpack off without thinking twice.
One last detail: nails. Occasionally, a bride feels self-conscious afterwards because her manicure isn't as fresh as she'd like it to be, especially in close-up photographs of the ring. If you can mention a manicure naturally before the trip, it might be worth doing — but don't force it if that would make her suspicious.
5. Proposing in the cold season
If you have a choice, a wool coat often looks more elegant in photographs than a bulky puffer jacket. But staying warm matters more than the outfit, so bring a proper coat if the weather calls for it. And if possible, keep your gloves on until just before the proposal: cold hands can quickly turn red, and the ring will feature in close-up photographs.
I once photographed a proposal at Kasteel Keukenhof on a cold, drizzly day. The couple wore padded jackets for the proposal and took them off for some photographs afterwards, without having to spend too long in the cold.
You can read more about this couple's experience in my article about castle proposals near Amsterdam. If you're still choosing a date, here's the best time of year to propose in Amsterdam.
Planning a secret proposal in Amsterdam?
If you're planning a marriage proposal and aren't sure what would work best for your partner, we can talk through the details before the day. I'll help you think about the location, the weather and how to make sure your outfits feel comfortable and look good together.
The easiest way to tell me about your plans is the form below. You can also message me directly on WhatsApp if you prefer.
You can find more information about my secret proposal photography in Amsterdam.
And if you'd like to hear from couples I've photographed, here are my reviews: ★ 5.0 from 60+ Google reviews.
I look forward to hearing what you're planning!